You do know it doesn’t have to be her way or the highway, right? Hey, come on, men have rights, and if the entire house is for her to decorate and for your kids to destroy, can’t the backyard at least be a safe haven for a weary husband looking to unwind in a manly setting? Of course, it can.
So take a stand, say no to “gorgeous pastel throws in the seating area”, and start creating a manly backyard everyone will love and respect you for. Here is what a true alpha backyard needs.
Introduce a professional grill area
Every man needs a grill station, if nothing else, this is your little slice of manly heaven amidst all the girly decor elements that ruin so many a modern backyard. But if you’re serious about claiming the yard all to yourself (at least in terms of design), then a simple grill station is not going to cut it.
What you need is actually a manly outdoor kitchen, boasting a grill, a freezer, a cabinet with all your grilling necessities, and more. Be sure to personalize it to your liking, hanging your favorite posters and trinkets all over. But that’s not all, it’s time to add a bar into the mix.
Complement with a manly bar
The symbol of male pride – a rustic outdoor bar filled with your favorite adult delights. From hard-and-heavy liquor to a couple of six packs you’re going to down with the boys on a Sunday afternoon, this outdoor man cave has everything your alpha soul could want.
Just like with the kitchen area, you want to make your bar stand out and portray your true taste and personality, so never mind what your wife wants, if you want a hardwood bar, then go for it. If you want it to have neon lights and play Bruce Springsteen all day long, don’t let anyone stand in the way of your dreams.
Seating area, the way a man would want it
Stick to your guns man, no means no! No to the pastel throws, no to the girly cushions and ornate vases on a glass side table next to a stylish chase lounge, no to it all! If you thought there is no such thing as manly outdoor dining furniture, then think again, because anything can be achieved with a bit of imagination and perseverance.
So instead, you want to choose the furniture that speaks to you, be it a set of dark recliner armchairs or a manly sofa overlooking a hardwood coffee table or even a grand dining table. The possibilities are endless, and don’t let anyone convince you otherwise.
Don’t forget your sports area
Every manly backyard needs to boast adequate room for manly activities, and if practicing outdoor yoga is not your activity of choice, then you can say no to the gazebo and instead leave a big chunk of the yard empty for some good old football, soccer, or whatever else you and the boys are into. Stick a nice little shed at the far end of the yard where you’re going to keep your equipment and your lawn mower and you’re almost done!
Flowers can be manly, you know
This one is going to be hard to swallow, but flowers should find their way into your manly backyard. If not for the sake of aesthetics, then at least for the sake of your marriage, because if you don’t plant some flowers, you’re never going to hear the end of it. So give in just a bit, accept that lilies, roses, and orchids are a part of your manly backyard now, and enjoy your victory.
Finally, there is a place in your home (or rather, outside of it) that truly speaks to your heart and soul, a place you can call your own where you feel comfortable as a man. The only thing left to do is crack open a cold one and enjoy the sound of men everywhere applauding you for your heroic deeds – the backyard is yours.
