With Valentine’s Day looming, did you and your girlfriend do deep soul searching and decide it was time for a conscious uncoupling? Or did one of you ambush the other with a “it’s not you, it’s me” break-up?
Well, the hard part is over. The actual breakup is complete. As you survey the damage, both in your heart and in your home, you look around your house and realize you may have broken up with her. Everywhere you look there’s a reminder of the relationship.
When it comes to a breakup, we are often pushed into a situation where we have to deal with sorting, packing, keeping, and rejecting a tremendous amount of stuff from a very emotional place. Which is what differentiates breakup decluttering from grief decluttering.
What needs to be done?
We hang onto stuff for all kinds of reasons, and most of the time they’re emotional, not practical. When that stuff is getting in the way of moving forward in our life, that stuff now becomes clutter. When that clutter isn’t serving you anymore but you can’t let go of it, then you have what I call a “Clutter Block.”
There are 7 Clutter Blocks, the first one being “Clutter Block #1, My Stuff Keeps Me Stuck in the Past.” Post break-up clutter will put you squarely in this block. So if you are looking to open your heart to another relationship, or spend some finding yourself, it’s time to clean out the old and welcome the new.
7 Tried and True Tips for Decluttering after a Break up:
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Keep no more than 3 items of your ex’s clothing and put them away. Don’t sleep with them, or sneak them under your pillow to pull out while you are sleeping. This also includes that favorite shirt of yours that she appropriated but left behind. After a month or two, you’ll be able to look at them with fresh eyes and into the donate bag they go.
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Put all the photos in a box and put the box on a high shelf. You don’t have to throw them all out now, but get them off your fridge! This also includes digital photos. If you can’t bear to delete them off your phone, then move them to a small hard-drive and put that high on a shelf.
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Consider selling any valuable jewelry that she left behind. Did she return the engagement ring or expensive earrings you bought her? Consider selling them and use the money to buy that watch you’ve had your eye on. Every time you look at it, you’ll be reminded, time moves on.
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Purge the intimate items. Towels you shared, sheets you slept on together. Placemats you ate on every night. Give yourself a fresh start and donate the old ones to an animal shelter.
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Move the furniture around. Put your bed on the other side of the room, move that chair she called her ‘favorite’ to another part of your home, do something to remind your brain from the moment you walk in the door, this is NOW. That was THEN.
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Do something nice for your space to show it some love. If you have some empty shelves where someone else’s books used to be arranged, let yours fill the space. Did she make you take down your beloved Kobe poster or neon beer sign? Well, now is the time to put it back up and reclaim your home. Tell your space, I’m still here and I value you.
Author: Tracy McCubbin, Making Space Clutter Free
Pinstripe Magazine Staff
Online Men’s Lifestyle Magazine on Gear, Grooming, Girls, Gadgets
