Well, we find ourselves in that spot where moving to Brazil is really not a bad idea…… yet again. Ana Bezerra, an accountant is legally allowed to masturbate close to eighteen times a day because she “suffers” from a chemical imbalance that causes her anxiety and hyper sexuality. The last time I checked, a situation such as this was considered being a nympho. Well, I have friends who have fancy gadgets so that they have porn on the go. Well, it’s only obvious that if you’re sitting down for dinner with Sister Mary Clarence and your parents, then you have GOT TO have phoneritca.com on your iphone, which sits comfortably snug on your well enlargened crotch. But even with friends such as these, eighteen times a day is pretty impressive by my standards as well.
What I do not understand is that a sustainable vixen like her has a “highly arousing” job of being an accountant. But the amenities, Oh the amenities. She is allowed to watch porn on the clock and is allowed to beat one off EVEN AT WORK!!! If I was her, I’d try my level best to rediscover my fetishes during a smoke break.
There are so many questions in my mind. Is that eighteen orgasms in one day or one orgasm split up into eighteen installments? Does she get reprimanded by her boss for being late during smoke breaks? And even if she does get punished, does she get spanked? Does insurance cover her in the likely event that her house accidentally burnt down while she was flicking the bean in the car? Even if they do, will her insurance company ask her if she was thinking about Hugh Jackman or Megan Fox? Well, I guess there are some existential truths that I’m just not entitled to know and I’d have to leave it at the fact that these are going to remain as nagging questions that I just have to push out of my head.
Well the moral of the story is, move to Brazil and jerk off at work. Tell me if that’s not inspiration to actually move there. I’m sure Charlie, Hank’s best friend from Showtime series Californication would love this.
Staffwriter, Pinstripe Magazine. Bringing you the latest in Men’s Fashion, Gear & Gadgets, Beautiful Woman and more
